People of IKEA
Hi guys. We went today to IKEA Serbia (first Ikea store in Serbia) and decided to give you a small report.
We decided to go there today cause we were kinda bored and we thought there wont be a lot of people since it is Monday. Oh boy, we were wrong, sooo wrong.
Parking lot was full of cars, but we felt so privileged and lucky to see the yellow sign IKEA, now we can die feeling whole and complete… I mean, right after we try famous IKEA meatballs and take a sip of non-alcoholic beverage (free refill).
OK, so we finally find a parking space and go to furniture heaven. Entering IKEA, first thing we noticed is a bunch of people, probably thinking if they should move on or go back. There is just too many people. And, again, it is fucking Monday! On your right, there is a line. People waiting for something cause….why not? We decide to skip that line and go up to first floor.
Kids enjoy fake kid rooms equipped with all the Scandinavian goodies (wooden trains, random coloured things that look like toys and small chairs and tables) for a couple of minutes and we continue to living room area.
This is where we stumble upon first bodies and bunch of tired people. Some of them look like they wont make it to Bedroom area, so they opted for a quick nap on comfortable sofas. Some of them look like they do not belong here. Some of them just want to buy a thing or two to take back home and frame them, hang them up on a wall. As a piece of contemporary art.
We realised that we are still in the busiest part so we decide to move forward into cooler areas, Textiles and Bathroom showrooms.
Small bathrooms would be a perfect fit for a Hobbit house. Looks like everyone is trying to avoid these as a plague, they don’t want to be seen here. Finally the air is cooler. We stumbled upon abandoned trolley and packed already tired kinds inside.
There are tons of products and I am sure you can always find something you really don’t need but it looks “cool” and usable so you buy it, after all it is ”cheap”.
We took some “wow, look at this” products and we proceed through Lighting area to cashier. Long lines of plebs waiting to pay for their IKEA souvenirs such as blue IKEA bag and IKEa shower squeegee
Right after you pass the cashier, there is a store with Scandinavian overpriced jam, fish products, Scandinavian cookies and other random food product you really don’t need in your life.
On your left there is a restaurant but kids are already nervous and we are heading toward exit.
Shit we bought
We bought a couple of product. Some of them we actually needed and some of them belong to “wow, look at this, what is this, how do you use it, what can we do with it, should we buy it” category.
Total, around 50 Euros.
Things we didn’t pay
IKEA is like Disneyland. If you ever went to Disneyland you probably noticed that you can take anything you want from their stores and go outside. There are no those things that beep at the exit if you try to steal something. It is same in IKEA. They probably earn so much on each product that they don’t wanna bother installing anti-shoplifting devices. When we paid for our stuff we noticed that kids are playing with MÅLA. At this point we didn’t want to bother going back telling cashier how we didn’t pay for it.
Checklist for next time
1. Don’t go on Monday
2. Try their food
3. Bring big backpack and fill it with random products, don’t pay for it at the exit cause no one will check.
4. Take elderly person (80+ years, with cane if possible) with us.
5. Try more beds and sofas
6. Buy big blue IKEA bag